The post after this one should talk about running over fresh pizzas for recreation.

These are all texts that are saved in the Drafts section in my cell phone.
Some of them are quotes from movies. Some of them are quotes from people I know. Some of them are other things.
All of them make me smile.


"I will have your valve then!"
"So when there is going to a be a movie made of your life there is going to be a substance abuse montage and in it will be a scene of you doing a steering wheel dance with your hands to Blue Monday."
"Fanny, be tender with my love."
"Sounds like A gay."
"This guy looks and sounds exactly like Topher Grace and it's tripping me out."
"Have you ever eaten a block of cheese and wished that it was spicy?"
"Watchmen? Does it have watches?" (This was way funnier at the time.)
"I wish he wasn't a daddy."
"You are so beautiful. Never stop moving."
"What about your pension plan?"
"Okay you guys, listen. Slow rap is the best music to have sex to."
"You gay weeble. There hasn't been a more feminine jew in the closet since Anne Frank."
"I've done something rather unfortunate to my coccyx."
"It's like we are married. Cunt cunt cunt."
"Beef gravy is the best gravy."
"I wish Stacey and Clinton from 'What Not To Wear' would just walk in right now."
"Elliot Smith is being converted."
"I'm plugging kool-aid!"
"I'M Tank Girl!"
"Micky Mouse get in your hole."
"What are you doing? Talking to your blue hat?"


I seemed to accidently delete everything else that was so good. Here's some pick-chures.